My mind screamed. No. No. No. No. No. Married? He said âwas.â Did that mean he wasnât married any longer? âWas?â I asked, finishing off the wine, grabbing the bottle, and refilling my glass. I had a feeling Iâd need it.
âYes. We married right out of high school, attended college together. Started our careers together.â He smiled and my heart shattered.
âWhat happened?â
He gulped down the rest of his drink. âShe died,â he finally said.
That surprised me. âI-Iâm sorry, Austin.â I took another drink. Is that why he left suddenly? Had he left her and she died? Was it my fault?
He stared into the fire, the flames dancing in his faraway eyes. âShe was the love of my life. I knew with absolute certainty there would never be another woman for meâ¦â He trailed off.
I stopped breathing.
What did that make me? A booty call? Had he come back to try and forget her? That seemed like a lot of work. The man was extraordinarily handsome. I had no doubt droves of women wanted him. So maybe it was guilt. He came back to tell me he was sorry heâd left abruptly.
But I didnât want to hear that. I realized the only words I wanted to hear from Austin were words that meant we were supposed to be together.
His wife had been the love of his life, but Austin was the love of mine, regardless how little time I had left.
God, it hurt. The fucking knowing.